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I am an animal lover, especially in stew.

And as you shall discover, (oh baby now) that my words are all true.


I find cats most appealing, when they’re running away.

Or their head hits the ceiling, (oh baby now) cause they never will stay.


Never will stay, whenever you tell them.

Never will stay, when you walk away.

Never will stay, their training’s a problem.

Never will stay, won’t do what you say.


Cats are taking me up to, the head of the line.

Cause I’m helping them get through, (oh baby now) all nine lives at one time.

Cats are landing on their feet, as they fly out the door.

When their claws and your skin meet, (oh baby now)

Makes them hard to ignore.


Hard to ignore, when they want to go out.

Hard to ignore, their cat’s life of ease.

Hard to ignore, don’t matter if you shout.

Hard to ignore, they’ll do what they please.


Cats are killing small creatures, and their ways are the worst.

The distinguishing feature, (oh baby now) is that they torture them first.

Cats are sleeping on your face, and giving hairballs.

While considering how you’d taste, (oh baby now)

If you were three inches tall.


Three inches tall, there’s no loyal feline.

Three inches tall, that ever did live.

Three inches tall, they’d eat you in no time.

Three inches tall, no need to forgive.

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